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In the right circumstances, we can be quite good at drawing people out and that is very useful on a date," she said This relates to the introvert's preference for deep conversation, which can take the date to another level.In a selection from her book that Dembling shared on Dembling warns that introverts "have to make sure our talent for listening doesn't backfire on us, however, so that we end up drowning in the other person's chatter." Introverts are generally , which has benefits and drawbacks.The common narrative about introverts is that they're shy and antisocial — not exactly qualities you'd want in a date.But while it's easy to assume that introverts would have a harder time dating than extroverts, the reality may surprise you. For it she interviewed more than 50 introverts — single and looking, in relationships with extroverts and other introverts, newlyweds and divorcees — and what she found complicates our typical assumptions about introverts."I think many introverts go into the dating field with a sort of one-down feeling," Dembling told .By pausing and reflecting before speaking, there is time to process the real problem instead of getting angry and making unfair accusations.In her excerpt, Dembling shares quotes from Lynne and David, who she spoke to about their respective marriages to extroverts."She was the center of attention wherever we went," Dembling says."I assumed nobody noticed introverted me, but years and years later, when I reunited with people from high school (thank you Internet), I learned that actually, many boys had noticed me.
The way I think of it: Extroverts sparkle, introverts glow.
"In fact one-on-one situations are where introverts can shine.
We are very good listeners, good at drawing people out, enjoy substantive conversation.
Introverts attract more people than even they realize — it just might depend on the pursuer to take the first step.
When it comes to dating, the introverts in relationships included in Dembling's research were pretty equally divided between dating other introverts or dating extroverts. "Either combination can work, depending on whether an introvert is looking for someone who will bring a social life to them, or someone who will hunker down at home with them.
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